To everyone who just feels down before holidays
So, 2021 is wrapping up. We are thinking about the past, future, exes, gifts, money for gifts, coming home alone for Christmas, what to wear, where to celebrate the New Year…
Just feels too much this year, right?
This article is for our Milla girls who just don’t feel like holidaying at all.
It was common to get sad around the holidays in regular pre-corona days and now when everything is about to close again for the fourth time, it is very hard not to hit rock bottom.
Of course, if you are reading this, it means you are alive, corona did not get you, you are healthy and this is something to be thankful for. But sadly, corona is not our last and only worry.
How to survive around happy people when you are the sad one?
The first thing to do and the most important one is to delete social media for the holiday period. Why do you need one more thing to drain your energy?
Comparison can make us bitter on a regular day. Imagine how much worse it will make you feel during holidays. Seeing other people having what you want hurts. And it is normal to feel like that. Just remind you one more time what you wish to have the most.
No solution to fighting all this, but a small reminder to yourself and acceptance can help a lot: “ Okay, this year's holidays will not be the best time of my life. I accept it and will go with it to let it pass.”
Or you are the one likely to experience family drama during holidays. Family knows what buttons to push, because they created them. But you can control your involvement in their moods and talks.
If this is the case, you can spend lots of time in the kitchen preparing meals and snacks or checking on that wine in the freezer so it doesn't get frozen.
To avoid being asked questions you don’t want to hear or to answer, reroute talks on people and ask them questions instead. Let them be the host of their own show.
When anyone starts some not really pleasant conversation with you, you can always say “ Let’s drink for the holidays!” and then leave to go to the bathroom.
Some helpful phrases you can use when people will ask you “why you are single/why you are not still married/ when will you have children/ why do you have only one child you should have five/ why you haven’t finished your degree/ why you do not get another job” edition:
- “ I understand your worry for me, but I am fine”
- “ Well, aunt Robin, you should pray for me more”
- “ Only universe knows when it is going to happen”
- “ And why does your son not get married? He dates Jane for what, 6 or 8 years already?’
- “ I need to use the bathroom”
- “ Oh, I need to answer this very important call, excuse me.”
But also, we are sure that we have our Milla girls here who do want to go home for holidays but can’t because of pandemics or work. What can we do about it then?
You can make things easy for yourself by thinking about what was wrong with previous holidays. And feel relief by not having to experience it this year.
You can eat whatever food you want in bed a few days in a row. And it is not about laziness. It is about relaxing, recharging and calming down your body.
This is also a nice opportunity to spend holidays with friends if you have never done so. Host your own celebration or throw a party.
Also during holidays, there are lots of nice volunteering opportunities if you want to give back.
And what if you are single during holidays, especially if you did not plan to be… You are allowed to grieve if you want. Now, take all the money you planned to spend on presents for your partner and maybe his family and go treat yourself to something nice.
This sucks, we feel you. It is so easy to be put into negative spirality during holidays especially if you are heartbroken. We see something that hurts us. We hear something that hurts us. So if you still are in doubt if to delete social media, try to do it. We promise you that the most important news will find you in any case.
What can you tell yourself in this situation today? “ Right now I am lonely, sad, heartbroken, not rich enough, not loving myself enough. Okay. This is only now. I don’t overthink about the future, I don’t remind myself about the past. I am just living in this moment which sucks but I let it be. “
We love you all, our most gorgeous Milla girls from all over the world. We are sending you our hugs, packing your holiday dresses and we wish you all the happiness in the world <3
With love,
Milla team